Today’s Lesson

Posted: 16th July 2008 by onyxhawke in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Today’s lesson in reality is: Hard sells in the wrong places.

The hard sell is a technique which uses subtlety and guile in the velvet soft manner of a battering ram to gain access to your wallet. You’ll often see this from used car salesmen, politicians, and late night infomercials. In the hands of the skilled the hard sell is indeed dangerous, effective and nearly irresistible. But only when aimed at the right target. Professional sales people are never the right target. Someone who is good at sales can spot the parts of your pitch only slightly faster than your mom could tell you had a bad day at school when you were six. The harder you push at said salesperson, the lower your chances are for success. Do expect that salesperson to critique your performance at some point, depending on your level of inanity it could be to your face. And of course the essence of the hard sell (or the soft sell, or any other sales technique) is have your facts straight. Black is not dark gray, blue is not off purple.

Today I had someone try and hustle me. They did not enjoy the experience.

  • Do you have pictures of said encounter? Could be very entertaining.

    • What, and create evidence instead of just hearsay??

      • We wouldn't have shared. Honest. Well, we would have shared in the fun of watching you metaphorically if not actually disembowel said fool. But I promise we wouldn't have shared it with anyone else. Except for putting it on Youtube, posting it to our various blogs, etc. But none of that counts, does it?

        • No metaphoricals
          I want blood and guts and, lots of blood and lots of guts and… and the green wobbly bit and…
          Oh, look! Must be that time of month again. 🙂

          • Re: No metaphoricals
            Then what's your excuse for the rest of the month? [VBEG]

            • Anonymous

              Re: No metaphoricals
              I like blood. And guts. Lots of blood and guts.
              Also hot guys with swords, dragons, conflicted dragons, sunsets, walks on the beach and…
              What do you mean this is not that type of website?

              • Re: No metaphoricals
                Why is this thing not keeping me signed in? WE MUST disembowel it. Can I disembowel it? Just a little?

                • Re: No metaphoricals
                  Why go through the fuss of disemboweling it yourself? You could be sitting back relaxing with chocolate, wine and watching while your legion of gay vampires do it for you. Just wait until dark and whistle a few dozen up.

                  • I've checked my gay vampires
                    And counted them twice
                    Let me see, there's Hylas in the short, Thirst. Presumably his "turner" too, but one can't be to sure. I mean, just because you suck the blood of a comely young Greek doesn't make you gay.
                    Then there's … um…
                    Marlowe and Shakespeare in For Whose Dear Sake.
                    This HARDLY makes a LEGION. NOT EVEN if you add Peter and Collin who are ghosts — not vampires, but what the heck — from For Whose Dear Sake.
                    Now I'm torn. Do I write more gay vampires? I don't want to. But… is it my moral imperative?
                    The ranks seem dreadfully thin. They'll never be able to form the turtle. Um…
                    What to do, what to do.

                    • Re: I've checked my gay vampires
                      Piffle! You must have miscounted.! Not to mention they are the Undead and quality has a quantity all its own!
                      Besides you're only the writer what do _you_ know about what you wrote?

  • A long time ago I worked in the mail room of a Fortune 500 company. I used to get these phone calls where someone was selling a business directory that would be "updated" every month. Of course, each monthly volume cost something like $150.00.
    In the beginning I used to quickly hang up. After a while though I started letting them go through their entire pitch. My boss and I discovered that, even if we agreed to the purchase we still had to be transferred to someone else for final verification at which time I would change my mind and tell the person they transferred to: no thanks!.
    I decided it if they were going to call people and try to scam them then I owed it to my fellow mail room compatriots in corporate America to waste as much time of these con artists as possible. The fewer phone calls they could make, the fewer victims they would catch.
    I realized later, while it was still a scam, the person doing the actual calling was most likely some poor schmo sitting in a call center somewhere having nothing to directly do with what he was pitching. Still, they must have realized at some point what they were doing.

  • Anonymous

    Eric Hoyt
    I have no doubt that they did not enjoy the experience… when trying to hustle someone like you, things never end well for the other person…

    • Re: Eric Hoyt
      I think everything ended well. Otoh I may be slightly biased.

    • Re: Eric Hoyt
      I think the poor child was probably a touch scarred when I left.
      Funny that.

  • *chuckles* That I would have liked to see.
    I suspect it looks about the same as when someone tries to hustle me or my husband. 😀

  • What about the experience did they not like? And what were they trying push on you?
    Sorry, but the idea of someone trying to intimidate you into buying something made me laugh so hard, my stapled in my knee started hurting again…

    • Well, first they didn't get the sale.. Then I told them things about the product they didn't know but that weren't hard to find.
      And yes, some people just aren't very bright. Someday, after I purchase my next car I'll consider posting about my last round of car shopping. O:-)

      • Why wait?
        I need something to distract me from wandering around work at night muttering, "Dynamite. We need lots and LOTS of dynamite."