The Real: Ari Marmell

Posted: 3rd October 2011 by onyxhawke in Uncategorized
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This weeks victim volunteer is Ari Marmell, a writers who’s blog I’ve read off and on for a couple years. Hit his social networks at the end.



Where are you from?

Well, before the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of The Sons Of Arius…


Actually, born in New York City, grew up in Houston, Texas, moved to Austin, Texas in 2001. But the former would have made a more interesting answer.


Where in all of the multiverse would you curse the worst of humanity?

Disneyland. But just the lines. >:-]

Well, maybe they can occasionally get to the end of a line, but only for the “It’s a Small World” ride.)

Where do you hide the stories you don’t want others to see?

Rip them up, sprinkle them on the floor with catnip, and let my cats dispose of the evidence.

Where do you do your best thinking?

Bathroom. Doesn’t everyone?

Where are you going?


Who :

Who was the first objective person to tell you your writing/art was good?

A creative writing professor in my sophomore year of college. (Well, I think I heard it from teachers when I was a kid, but I’m not counting that.) I’ve actually long been a little upset that I can’t remember the man’s name.

Which fictional character do you think you’d like to have lunch with?

Just lunch? Can’t get them to grant wishes or do any favors for me? Hmm…

Probably the Doctor. (10th incarnation, preferably.)

Who would you love to get a cover quote from?

Moses or Buddha.

Barring that—and depending on genre—either Jim Butcher (for urban fantasy), Suzanne Collins (for YA), or either Steven Brust or Michael Moorcock (for fantasy).

Who gave you the weirdest compliment ever?

You know, I’ve gotten a few weird ones, but I’m completely blanking. I’ll go with something that wasn’t even meant to be a compliment, but amused me greatly. That would be some anonymous guy on a forum who claimed that one of my books was “So bad it literally kills babies. Literally.”

I’m not sure why I take that as a compliment. Maybe because I clearly made an impression. But I’m tempted to put it on my website.

Of all the characters you’ve written or edited which one gave you the biggest fits?

That would actually be a character in both a novel and short story that haven’t seen publication yet. The stories are set in the ‘20s and ‘30s, and trying to use the appropriate speech patterns and slang, without going overboard to the point of parody, made my ears bleed.

Made Up:

Which made up element is the silliest?

Much as I love Marvel… Vibranium. It “absorbs kinetic energy.” What does that even mean, really? I mean, if it truly absorbed all impact, it wouldn’t do any good to throw it at people or hit them with it, would it?

What yet to be realized invention do you want the most?

Probably the replicator from Star Trek. A device that can create pretty much anything? Yes, please.

Which One:

Spiderman or Wolverine

Spider-man. Wolvie’s okay, but Spidey’s pretty much my favorite comic-book character ever.

Dumbledore or Professor X

Professor X. More interesting, and—at least in some incarnations—a better teacher and leader. (Oddly, I’m listening to the X-Men: First Class soundtrack as I write this.)

Lucille Ball or Roseanne

Shoot me.


Is your favorite time of year?

Autumn. Around Halloween to Thanksgiving.

Do you see a movie?

If I’m really excited about it, opening weekend (or at most the weekend after). Otherwise, I probably wait for DVD.

Did you realize writing was for you?

End of freshman year of college.


Do you feel best about your work?

Petty as it may sound, when I get positive feedback from people whose judgment I trust and whose opinions are important to me.


Goes on your pizza?

Chicken, mushroom, sometimes black olive. Occasionally pepperoni. And no cheese. Yeah, really.

On your ice cream?

Lactose intolerant, so rarely anything. When I find a dairy-free substitute I like, I don’t usually put anything else on it.

On your feet on your day off?

A cat.

Complete the sentence:

The worst advice I ever got:

Was when a creative writing professor—not the one I mentioned earlier—tried to convince me that genre writing (sci-fi, fantasy, horror, etc.) was innately inferior to “literary” writing, and that I was wasting my talent.

I can’t get enough of:

Steven Brust’s writing, cool orchestral movie soundtracks, and TV shows with Nathan Fillion.

My working space is:

More cluttered than Oscar the Grouch’s trash can.

Never call me before:

You’re about to do something stupid that I’d rather not have to testify about.

Cthulhu always told me:

Life is like a box of Gnostics.

The most annoying job I’ve ever had:

That would be a tie between working at Toys ‘R Us, and proofreading certain technical brochures for an ad agency.

For fun:

When I’m done working I unwind by:

Turning into a complete vegetable with the TV and DVD player.

When I take a break during the workday I:

Still spend too much time at the computer.

Favorite game or sport to watch:

Don’t watch sports, but if I have to, I prefer football.


Favorite game or sport to play:

Dungeons & Dragons. (Uh, game, not sport. Obviously.)


I would never do X for fun:

Climb, bungee jump, or anything to do with narrow ledges on high places.


Your Work:

The piece I’ve had the most trouble with:

Agents of Artifice. It was, let’s say, a different sort of working environment than I was used to.

The piece I’ve had the most fun with:

Probably the original draft of The Goblin Corps.

The one I’d most love to see made into a movie or tv series:

Of those that have come out, Goblin Corps, though the two Corvis Rebaine books are pretty damn close. I have some future projects I’d pick even over those, though.

The next project to come out is (indulge yourself with this one):

Thief’s Covenant, the first of my “Widdershins” series, as well as my first YA novel. (Though honestly, the differences between my YA and my “adult” stuff are really just a matter of degree. I’m pretty sure many readers wouldn’t be able to ID it as YA if they didn’t know going in.) Basically, a story set in a fantasy analogue of Renaissance France (the way your average fantasy is often an analogue of Medieval Britain or Germany), about a street thief-turned aristocrat-turned street thief with a god living in head.

You can find Ari Marmell:



My site:

My blog: