Rant Ahead: Waste of Science

Posted: 13th September 2011 by onyxhawke in Uncategorized
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Dear Idiots,

Please stop using science as the medium in which you open your mouth and remove all doubt. I know you probably didn’t make the connection that keyboards, and “research papers” can be a very effective tool for painting “fool” across ones forehead, but it is so. It is so so in fact that I’m sure some kind person will come up with a pithy quip to make the keyboard as well known a vector for outing oneself as an asshat as ones mouth.

Today’s exercise by people who weren’t dropped on their heads as infants from high enough up are a group of scientists who in my most charitable interpretation seem to have forgotten that the brain and body are programmed for survival first and all other purposes, even reproduction later. Wandering into this delightful example of sensationalism-in-science-clothing, well you can probably guess my emotional reaction.

The brain, nervous system and the rest of the body are much more adept at going from fast to slow than slow to fast. This is not news. Want an example? Run as fast as you can for 100ft, come to a dead stop in the next step. Not easy? Shocking. It took a few steps to slow down. Just as it takes your heart rate and breathing longer to get back to rest, not just because of the need to re-oxygenate, but because it takes a bit of time for the body to filter out the various stress chemicals.  Without the ability to go from quickly to fast from slow or rest, the human race would not have survived this long.

Think carefully, do you really think your great ancestors would have made it out of the jungles and steppes of our primordial origin if they took six or seven minutes to react to the predators rushing at them? How about taking half an hour to get in out of a snow storm? Maybe not noticing the fire they lit has been chewing up their leg and untanned, grease splattered fur pants pant for ten minutes? Yeah, not likely. We are programmed to survive. When survival is the bodies goal everything else is irrelevant.  It doesn’t matter how well you can macrame a friendship bracelet while a lion is chasing you!

As for small studies that don’t even examine the duration of the phenomenon they are purporting to study; I’ll leave the unprintable words unprinted.

No Love,

Me